Every little chicken nugget young girl remembers the first time they felt truly feminine, powerful and beautiful. And truth be told, for me this has been mostly with the tunes of Queen B (Beyonce, men. We worship Beyonce). Be it running the world drunk at a London club, or psyching myself to forget a “beautiful liar” in Mumbai. She has been my therapist through it all. So now, it’s obvious time to pass on the wise relationship lessons I have learnt while miserable twerking to Beyonce music! Slaaaaaaay. 

  1. Diva is the female version of a hustler: Don’t get me wrong, I like being spoiled. Oh, I like being as spoiled as that fat obnoxious kid at McDonalds who steals your lunch. Actually, I AM THAT FAT OBNOXIOUS KID at McDonalds. So you know, I like me some spoilage and spillage. But Queen Bee taught me that regardless of your true nature to mooch, you have to be a hustler/hard-worker in life. You never know when your gold-digging, lunch-stealing ways will land you in trouble. So ladies, aspire to be a  “successful, glamorous, female performer” diva instead. Where my divas at?

 2. Why don’t you love me? Yes, you may make yourself “so damn easy to love”. You might be on top of your game in terms of beauty, class, style and ass (putting money in the bank account and not asking anyone to help you out). But none of that fabulousness guarantees love. Unfortunately, the queen has spoken and she to knows that love doesn’t have an equation. Any man/woman could discard you/un-want you at any point and this DOES NOT reflect your self worth. Remember, it’s not me, it’s you.

 3. Baby, I can see your Halo: Did anyone say good vibes only? A lot of times, us chicas get real tough/nasty and in those times we might neglect/fail to see the awesome sauce of a man the universe is serving tonight for dinner. It’s good to have your walls up to protect your diabetic heart but sometimes you just have to let yourself fall and with some guys “it won’t even seem like falling”. Yup, there are nice guys out there! When the hour is right, the sun is bright and Queen B is on your playlist, the magic will happen if you let it. 

4. Best thing I never had, so don’t think you’re irreplaceable: A lot of times, us TV-binge watching people get stuck in relationships for the sake of committing to finishing the season in one go. But there comes a time when you have to admit that Sherlock is overrated and so is your relationship. There are many more good men and TV shows out there ( Man In The High Castle, How To Get Away With Murder, Luther, Jessica Jones) that deserve your attention and play time too! So let the bad apples know they are NOT irreplaceable.

5. XO: When I feel cozy and fuzzy on the inside, it’s usually because of delish deep dish pizza in my arms. But I also do sometimes feel cozy and fuzzy around certain fiercely real people who warm up my life with their light (you know who you are). Those are the relationships I crave for, the kind where we can go to an arcade, sit on the couch, eat takeaway and have complete sober fun. Because our love is like xo. You love me like xo.