It think the re-emergence of my dating blogging chronicles should be with my favourite topic of discussion. Candy bars. Sex.

It’s not always a comfortable subject matter but it sure as hell is a delightful to do. Another hindrance to all our feminine comforts is body confidence. It’s one thing to pick yourself up, powder on make up and have the invisible cloak of sexy spandex and an another thing to be naked, vulnerable and ready to be pounded with judgement. So here’s how I deal with it and maybe you can too:

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The Standard Is Not Sunny Leone: The good thing is that we don’t have to watch and learn from our parents, relatives and friends about what sex and sexy is. The bad thing is the other alternative portrays sex being only enjoyable when you have large milk machines and a tiny everything else. Or in the case of men, a big device and a lean machine. That is not the fucking case. Sex can and is enjoyable for all shapes and sizes. Try this, when you go out to a restaurant next, stare at the less attractive couple next to you: if they can then you can.

Simple Mind Shifts: So the unattractive couple is a temporary solution on a date but an another more effective way to get your mind off criticising yourself and your mood cheery for the cherry pop is by not overthinking your partner’s reaction. No man or woman is on a date with you, trying to hold your attention because they are grossed out by you. They know what they are getting into (literally) and they are more than happy to do it and be with you. Also, they are not blind, they like what they see and they see you (all of you).

YOLO & Let’s Do This: Fake it till you make it (not to the orgasm) but to the confidence. There is no point thinking about “I should have gone to the gym for the last ten years” because a man is eyeing your beer belly. It’s too late. He wants to motorboat that beer belly and everything that’s north of it. So just go with the flow, confine your mind in the moment and enjoy the ride.

Prop It Like It’s Hot: Okay, it you are still shy. I have got three words for you. Missionary, Candles & Booze. Also, keep an item of clothing on. It’s comforting.

Remember the sexiest thing to a man or a partner is not how you look but how confident you are. You are a confident little pet and you are enjoying yourself (because they are putting the effort into making sure you are). Sex is also so much more than being meaningless, physical and vain. If you like someone, you won’t give a fuck about their stretch marks or body hair, you’ll just be happy to have a chance to lay with them in the moment. You are not sexy to every person in the world but you are sexy to the person who has chosen to be with you.

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